Addressing number 2 directly, actually, this ship can make lots of sense if you logically tink about it, 18+ content aside.
Did he get hurt afterwards?? Sorry for another edit but I am not trying to aggravate you or anything, just hope you have a good day and try not to think of stuff like this too much.
I get that you're trying to get more traffic and more of a response, but it could still be in the main tag and the character tags but not the ship tag.
After you deleted mine and snarkis comment I also thought that you were the same anon who had been going about the comment section of RuvxWhitty fics and calling skelltheenby as "sexualising asexuals" plz try to understand this is not the case and they did reply to that same someone that 'it's is their fanon version' as you have mentioned.
Case in point I do think after considering everything you have said I do think your frustrations lie not in the ship itself but with how people perceive the ship and how you yourself view the ship.
But asexuals can speak for themselves, and I have 2 asexual partners, both varying degrees of asexual due to that being a spectrum.